Let’s Be Honest: Stretching Kinda Sucks
Whether it’s in yoga, therapy, or trying to reach that jar on the top shelf—stretching is uncomfortable. We grunt, groan, and wonder why we’re doing this to ourselves.
But you know what’s worse? Staying stuck.
So today, we’re diving into a question worth sitting with:
Are you stretching… or are you stressing?
This can look different for everyone. For some, it’s saying no. For others, it’s saying yes. But the key difference? One expands you. The other depletes you.
My Personal Stretch Story (Spoiler: It Turned Into Stress)
I’ve run five full marathons. That’s 42.2 km of willpower, pacing, and convincing myself not to fake an ankle injury at the 30 km mark.
But let’s talk about my fourth marathon.
It was meant to be my strong one. My redemption run. My “I’ve done this before—I’ve got this.”
Except…I ran it two weeks after having COVID.
My body whispered, “Please no.” My mind shouted, “We trained for this!”
So I ran. By kilometre 15, I was already struggling. By kilometre 30, I wanted to sit down on the side of the mountain and melt into the grass.
And by the end? I crossed the finish line in tears—not of pride, but of pain and regret.
I hadn’t stretched myself. I’d stressed myself. I ignored my body’s cues. I overrode its wisdom, and I paid for it.
The Body Knows: What Polyvagal Theory Teaches Us
Thanks to Deb Dana’s beautiful work with polyvagal theory, we know that our nervous systems are constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger.
- When we’re stretching, our nervous system might feel activated, but we remain engaged, curious, and connected.
- When we’re stressing, our body shifts into survival mode: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
Your nervous system knows the difference—even if your mind doesn’t.
That’s why somatic awareness is so powerful. Your body will tell you long before burnout, breakdowns, or back-to-back Netflix binges. But only if you’re listening.
Comfort Zones Make Cozy Cages
Let’s talk zones for a moment. In the psychology of success, personal growth is broken into four stages:
- Comfort Zone – You know this one. Pajamas. Predictability. Low risk, low reward.
- Fear Zone – Imposter syndrome, self-doubt, comparison.
- Learning Zone – New skills, new mindset, deeper awareness.
- Growth Zone – Purpose. Passion. Potential realized.
Most of us want to leapfrog to the Growth Zone—but you’ve got to pass through the stretch of the learning zone first. And yes, it’s awkward, messy, and you’ll probably forget your metaphorical water bottle a few times.
But it’s worth it, just don’t skip steps. Don’t blow past your body’s “No” just to get to society’s “Good for you!”
Mistakes Are Proof You’re Trying
I’ll say it again: I messed up. I didn’t fail, I learned.
That fourth marathon taught me more than the others combined. About my body. My nervous system. My ego. My compassion. Mistakes are sacred data. We learn how far to stretch by noticing when we’ve gone too far.
So stretch—but don’t snap.
Grow—but stay grounded.
A Gentle Invitation to You
Ask yourself:
- Am I expanding—or am I overriding?
- Is this stretch inviting growth—or demanding too much?
- What is my body saying today?
Put a hand over your heart or belly. Take a breath. Ask your nervous system, “What do you need right now?”
That’s where wisdom lives.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Be the Hero Every Time
Yes, comfort zones are overrated. But so is glorifying struggle.
You don’t have to prove your worth through pain.
You don’t have to finish every metaphorical (or literal) marathon.
You just have to stay curious, stay connected, and stay kind—to yourself.
Let’s keep stretching—but only in ways that feel expansive, not exploitative.
And if you ever need to lie down in the grass mid-mountain and whisper, “Not today,”
I’ll be right there with you.
With humour, humility, and heart,
Carmen Jelly at New Perceptions
